Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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