1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
