how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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