I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm too high and old for this...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
