Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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