guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
