Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It's blow job season.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
