dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
