Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
