i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
