i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
