just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
one two three fourrrrnication!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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