he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
