So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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