You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
