Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize