everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
