You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
organizing the empties. That sober.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Still dying that you shit outside
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
