it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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