I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
