the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize