my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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