New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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