would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
