I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
