I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
