hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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