Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.