Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.

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  (304): There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year. http://tfl.nu/n54w
  Replies (23) Good night (4686) Bad night (789)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.

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  (952): He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job. (320): Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud. http://tfl.nu/wke9
  Replies (38) Good night (7696) Bad night (745)
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  (450): View more from Quebec

  I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...

  (450): View more from Quebec

  On that note, do I have a rule?

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  (450): I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc... (450): On that note, do I have a rule? http://tfl.nu/u1td
  Replies (15) Good night (4788) Bad night (1057)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?

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  (651): a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore? http://tfl.nu/vjlb
  Replies (12) Good night (987) Bad night (3190)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget

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  (781): Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget http://tfl.nu/1lyj
  Replies (11) Good night (4203) Bad night (877)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.

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  (850): I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think. http://tfl.nu/r53a
  Replies (7) Good night (1175) Bad night (2704)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.

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  (313): I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents. http://tfl.nu/eaix
  Replies (6) Good night (3073) Bad night (872)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call

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  (830): I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call http://tfl.nu/cgsl
  Replies (12) Good night (898) Bad night (2469)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!

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  (413): Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?! http://tfl.nu/jygw
  Replies (18) Good night (1978) Bad night (606)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.

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  (864): There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success. http://tfl.nu/houh
  Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (324)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?

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  (248): spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years? http://tfl.nu/coam
  Replies (3) Good night (1382) Bad night (386)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.

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  (815): I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life. http://tfl.nu/262m
  Replies (8) Good night (828) Bad night (391)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!

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  (870): Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking! http://tfl.nu/tcnj
  Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (237)
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  (310): View more from California

  And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.

  (310): View more from California

  Actually though that could've been bad.

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  (310): And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus. (310): Actually though that could've been bad. http://tfl.nu/9jlh
  Replies (1) Good night (290) Bad night (446)
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  (562): View more from California

  The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons

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  (562): The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons http://tfl.nu/bjub
  Replies (0) Good night (314) Bad night (172)

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