Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.