so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
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yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
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The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it