we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
