maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
