3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
