I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
