The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
