sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
