I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
