They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
