I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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