you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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