The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
