I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
