If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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