I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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