Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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