the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
