Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
