definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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