Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
