The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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