Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Shame is for Republicans.
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