She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
