I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Panties = found
Randomize
