I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
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Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
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I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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