he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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