it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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