so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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