I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
