Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
