I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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