i just wanna soil my oats bro
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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