Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
