she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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